five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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