Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
