Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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