Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
