Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Is it because I queefed?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
