just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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