I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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