Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
