CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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