Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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