Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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