He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Randomize
