Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
