she looked like the before picture.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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