Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
