I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
