And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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