I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
