Kareoke will never be a sober sport
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
