Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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