Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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