I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
