he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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