I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
