O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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