Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
