I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
