Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
