i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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