Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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