So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
