I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
