Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
