if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
