p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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