I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
