how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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