The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
