Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize