Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
