how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
