Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
