i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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