he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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