i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
