On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
