I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
