Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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