dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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