she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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