i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
