He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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