I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
