i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
